In Which Ben and Lettie Have an Argument
Part 3 of the A World of Magic and Dreams series
A Howl’s Moving Castle Fanfic
Lettie Hatter had been his apprentice several months before Ben realized how stupidly rash the offer had been.
Everything had settled so neatly the day the Witch of the Waste had been killed that it had seemed only natural that, as the girl he loved required a more advanced magical instructor, he should invite her to become his apprentice. (And if he had hoped her spending more time with him might convince her to care for him as she had Percival, who could blame him?)
And at first, everything went well. She settled in smoothly, thriving in her studies and getting along well with the servants and Adam (the other apprentice), and, though she got along well enough with Ben himself, she never gave any hint that she wanted anything more than the distant instructor/pupil relationship they had.
And there was no reason for him to have thought otherwise. He and Prince Justin could hardly tell themselves which parts of Percival belonged to each and which parts the witch created entirely. He had hoped, yes, but anything more than hope was unfair to Lettie. He knew this, and yet every day he found himself falling more in love with her, and he wished he hadn’t been quite so hasty in inviting her to live with him.
Thankfully, he had his spells to keep him occupied.
He had never been a good student. His teachers said his head was in the clouds, and he never could stay focused on something so dull and rigid as math or physics. It wasn’t until he was literally transported to the land of his daydreams that he became fascinated by school and learning. Even physics was interesting here as he learned how to change it with magic.
He still had trouble reading, though, and no matter how interesting the book, his mind would wander, and he would find several hours having passed with nothing accomplished at all.
And so he found himself one night, long after Adam and most of the servants had gone to bed, standing over a half-finished spell and attempting to read the same page for the fourth time that day.
He heard footsteps behind him, and Lettie snatched up the book, sat in the chair beside him, and began reading aloud. She had taken to doing this lately, insisting it was much more efficient as he got through the book faster, and she learned the information as well.
He shouldn’t have thought anything of it except relief at her help, but the sudden realization that they were alone except the people sleeping upstairs and the murmuring voices in the kitchen, combined with the library-like feel of his study and the droning tone of the spell book all brought back with startling clarity a rather unwelcome memory of the end of his first year at University.
His then-girlfriend Alys had cajoled him into studying for his exams by promising to read his notes aloud, and they had had many late-night dates in the campus library as they both prepared for their exams. (They hadn’t dated long after that. She had taken his dropping out of university about as well as his mother, and he had left the two of them to console one another.)
He didn’t like to think of that now, though he couldn’t give a specific reason why. His feelings towards Lettie were too confused, and he felt certain he shouldn’t be thinking of Alys, and yet he couldn’t help but imagine what a similar date might be like with Lettie–but no, he shouldn’t be thinking about dating Lettie.
He cleared his throat. “Um, Lettie? Thank you for reading, but I think actually I’ll go to bed.”
She set the book down. “Now? But you haven’t finished your spell.”
He didn’t usually like to leave unfinished spells lying around, but this one was no particular danger, and everyone in the house knew better than to touch his spells without express permission and he really needed to get away. Somewhere he wouldn’t be in danger of telling her to leave, or blurting out his feelings, or saying something equally stupid. “Yes.”
Lettie’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”
He checked to make sure the spell really was in no danger of exploding or anything, then started toward the stairway. “I’m tired.”
“Liar.”
He turned around to stare. She was staring right back with a rather stubborn expression. “What?”
“You heard me. You’re lying. You’re practically buzzing with energy, so why are you going to bed now?”
“None of your business,” he said before he could think better of it. Lettie’s jaw tightened and fire flashed in her eyes. He would regret his words come morning, but for now he chose not to think of that, and marched up the stairs.
To his surprise, there was no angry Lettie to avoid the next day. Instead, a note lay on the dining table that read, I’ve gone to see Sophie. I probably won’t be back until late. Lettie
Ben sighed and started work on his spell without stopping for breakfast.
“I’m sure she won’t be angry for too long this time,” Mrs. Cherry, his housekeeper, said as she dusted the bookcase. “She’s gone to see her sister, hasn’t she? That’ll calm her right down.”
Ben doubted very much this would be the case and only grunted.
He managed to finish the spell before she got home, but not much else, despite the fact that it had been many, many hours.
He heard the front door open and shut, then footsteps slip past his study and up the stairs.
“Is that you, Lettie?” he called as he scrambled up and ran to the stairs. It was a stupid question. There was no one else it could be, but he was certain he would regret it if he let her go upstairs and avoid him entirely, and he couldn’t think of anything better to say.
She stopped in the middle of the stairs, one hand on the banister, and looked down her nose at him. Her posture was regal and her dark curls spilled perfectly over one shoulder. He was quite certain she was posing. “Yes, and I’m going to bed.” She lifted her chin even further. “I’m tired.” Then she whirled around and flounced up the stairs.
Ben slumped back against the wall and tilted his head back, sighing.
Lettie Hatter was a force to be reckoned with, and her anger still hadn’t abated by the next day.
She had been working on cooking charms for the past few weeks, so she usually made breakfast, much to the cook’s chagrin. Today she had the door between the kitchen and dining room propped open and was keeping up a steady line of chatter about Sophie’s flower shop, the gossip from Market Chipping, and the news Michael had of Martha. She would have sounded downright cheerful if it weren’t for that tone, which said she was unhappy and everyone had better stand up and take notice.
Ben knew she was waiting for a fight, and so resolved not to speak a word, even when she paused to mutter a spell or ran out of breath. Adam kept casting him nervous glances, but he had no help for the boy. Instead he calmly finished breakfast, cleared the table, put on his coat and hat, and was just about to leave when Lettie’s voice stopped him.
“And where are you going? To see a girl I suppose?”
This so surprised him that he actually froze with his hand stuck on the doorknob. For a moment, he was tempted to say he was going to see a girl, simply to see what happened, but then he remembered he didn’t particularly want to see what happened.
“No,” he clipped, then strode out the door without looking back and headed to the market in a decidedly bad mood.
The bad mood was made worse when he spotted Wizard Howl coming to meet him, waving his arm in the air wildly and looking far too pleased.
Ben scowled.
“Good morning, Suliman,” Howl said when he caught up, throwing an arm around Ben’s shoulders. “Thought I’d better check on you this morning since Lettie came to the castle rather put-out yesterday.”
“I’m aware. She didn’t happen to say why she was upset, did she?”
Howl’s expression grew wounded. “No. I was kicked out before she said much of anything. My own home, you know, but of course no one cares.”
He heaved a dramatic sigh, but as Ben had been all but kicked out of his house as well, he found he had little sympathy for the other wizard.
“And I thought you might be looking to escape today,” Howl continued.
“I’m not escaping,” Ben snapped. “I have very important shopping to do.” Though, admittedly, the shopping would usually be left for the servants or apprentices depending on the product’s nature.
Howl just grinned. “Those Hatter women are terrifying when they get angry.”
“Sophie’s not a Hatter anymore,” Ben said, simply because he felt in the mood to disagree.
Howl’s smile grew blinding and that much more infuriating. “No, she isn’t. And I’ve been wondering whether Lettie won’t soon loose the title as well.”
Ben stopped walking and shot Howl a glare. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Well you do love her, don’t you? I was fairly certain you did.”
“Of course I do, but that doesn’t mean anything if she doesn’t feel the same way.”
“Doesn’t she?”
Ben shrugged Howl’s arm off his shoulders and kept walking. “No. Now don’t you have things to do?” Howl muttered something, but Ben didn’t stop to ask him to repeat it.
By the time he finished with his shopping list and made his way home, the sun was setting and it cast strange shadows on his door knocker, making it look rather foreboding. He paused with his hand on the doorknob and steeled himself for whatever he might find inside, wondering if it wouldn’t be better to get the fight over with.
He was not expecting Lettie to be sitting on the stairs waiting for him. She shot to her feet. “Where have you been?”
He spread his hands and let the bags fall to the floor. “Shopping."
“And since when do you go shopping?”
“Since now. I don’t know why you should care so much. In fact, I don’t know what’s going on at all! I’m afraid I’m not a mind reader, Lettie, and my divination is terrible, so if you want something from me, you’re going to have to tell me!”
She straightened her shoulders and raised her chin, and for a moment, he thought he might actually get a straight answer out of her, then she shouted, “I wish I had never come!”
His heart sank. Would everyone he cared about leave him? He took a long, slow breath before he trusted himself to speak. “I’m sorry you feel that way. Do you wish to move out?”
That was the wrong thing to say. “Don’t you care? Don’t you care at all if I leave?”
“Of course I do–” But she wasn’t listening.
“You shouldn’t have asked me to come if you don’t love me anymore. You can’t help it if you don’t love me, but you shouldn’t have asked me to stay!”
He gaped at her, and she whirled around and raced up the stairs before he could react.
“Lettie, wait, Lettie!” He raced after her, catching up at the top and grabbing her hand. “Please, wait.” Her lower lip wobbled as she turned around and her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. His heart clenched. “Lettie, I do love you. Why would you think I’ve stopped?”
“You didn’t say it. Why didn’t you say it?”
Ben felt very confused by this point, as though they were having several conversations at once, or maybe only half a conversation. “But I did say it.”
“No, you didn’t,” she sniffed, still sounding like she was about to cry. “Only Percival did.”
He stopped. He’d said it himself, hadn’t he? He had been so sure he had. He opened his mouth, then closed it again as he considered the past few months since the curses had been broken.
“Do you really love me?” Lettie asked. “I was afraid–I was afraid that wasn’t yours either.”
“Of course I do,” he murmured. “There was never a doubt those feelings were mine.”
She stepped closer. “Then why, oh why didn’t you say it?”
He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I thought you knew, and I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable living here.”
She pursed her lips and wrinkled her brow. “I was confused. I never said I didn’t love you, and I certainly never said I couldn’t. I love you, Ben.” Then she surged up and kissed him.
His head spun, having trouble grasping just how much his world had changed in the span of five minutes, when she threw her arms around his neck, and it occurred to him that he should really sort out what had just happened later, and focus right now on kissing the girl he loved properly.
“I hope you know,” she said when she eventually pulled away, “I expect that to become a regular occurrence.”
“I think I can manage that.”
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, then kissed her again, but this time, she pulled away rather quickly. “Oh, bother. We forgot the shopping bags!”